Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
