You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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