If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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