I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
