Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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