So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
