Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
