I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
