im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize