READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sorry about my life...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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