I think my fart just growled at me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
