this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize