is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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