There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
