I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
