I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
