So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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