Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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