im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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