remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
