Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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