Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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