just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
