I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
