found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
this hospital has no fireball
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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