I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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