You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
