bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
