"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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