He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
