She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wish my penis had a tongue
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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