Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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