Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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