I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
ok first of all what the fuck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
