A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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