He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
