I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
