It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
