wrigley field is MILF paradise
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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