ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
