he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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