have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize