I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
