I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
