You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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