he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
