Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
