i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
