bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
