dude i'm inner monologue high
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
is that a dick in a sweater?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
