i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
