Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
did i walk over a car last night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
