why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
