found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
