I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hippo gnu deer
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
