Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
