We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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