Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
