you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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