I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
