they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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