new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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