remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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