There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
