Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
