so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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