I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
