Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
